Goodbye 1st Trimester

Baby Bump in full effect!  Swimsuit can be found here! 

Photo by: denise benson photography 

Hi Friends,

I’ve been struggling to write this post…not because I didn’t want to but I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to say. Not to mention, I’ve been exhausted…my lower back and hips hurt and I’m not even halfway through yet. I had to come to terms with having another baby. (Totally not a part of the plan) I believe my partner and I both knew we just didn’t want to face the truth but reality would quickly slap us in the face.

I remember that weekend like it was yesterday. I went to brush my teeth and started gagging. He immediately popped out of bed and threatened to go to Walmart to get a pregnancy test. I was completely opposed to the idea because I’d been spotting for days, plus I have PCOS so there was no way I could be pregnant.  When I look back on that moment now...I wish I did allow him to go get the test and I wouldn’t have found out alone…

Instead, I went home but something just didn’t seem right about this drive. My spirit would not settle. I felt so uneasy and kept replaying his comments in my head. Mind you…I was 45 days late but in my defense sprinkles of blood appeared. Something told me to go get a test. What was the worst that could happen? Besides it confirming what we already knew but on the bright side if it was negative I would never have to mention it. Life would return to normal.

I sat on the toilet and peed. (TMI) I set the timer on my phone for 3 minutes and waited but I notice something. The test looked funny it changed colors so fast and I instantly placed my head in my hands because those 3 minutes were not up. These were the LONGEST 3 minutes of my life! I was in complete an utter shock. I just knew this test was wrong. Thank goodness I bought 2. The joke was on me, they were both positive. I video chatted him and he was half asleep. Of course, with all of my theatrics, he was awake QUICKLY. Once he came to, I placed the pregnancy test in front of the camera and he gave this weird, devilish smile that he does often when he comes up with some awesome plan. He was excited! We didn’t speak it was that silence where no one knows what to say but it’s perfect. And because I needed words I broke the silence and asked: “so what are we gonna do?” He laughed and responded, “keep it.” I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t upset or anything…it’s just I have never had this experience before. Finding out I was pregnant in the past has always been so traumatic. This time it was normal…I felt normal.

My honey was happy – like extremely happy so how could I not be? We decided to keep this little news to ourselves until we found out a due date and if the pregnancy was viable. The appointment came and my little peanut was there! Hearing the heartbeat brought tears to my eyes. I was in complete disbelief – somehow I thought this was all a dream and when we went for the ultrasound that nothing would be there…

I met my doctor and she was as sweet as pie but brutally honest. I’ve always had a dream of giving birth at home in a pool. She chuckled and said, “ain’t gonna happen.” (I’ve had two previous caesareans and the risk are too high.)

Shirt by Momee & Mini Me Boutique

The first trimester has FLOWN by. I’m 14 weeks into this thing and it’s had its ups and down. Many nights I’ve cried unsure if this is really what I wanted at 27 years old with two school-age children. Then I was reminded that there are so many women with my condition (PCOS) that could only dream of this moment and here I am complaining. Life is short but this will be the last one! (tubes will be tied)

My morning sickness has finally calmed down, our 12-week scan went beautifully and outside of my constant back pain I’m okay. I’m counting it all joy!

Any other moms to be out there? Let me know how you're feeling! 

Cannonborough Collective: Bloggers & Creatives Ice Cream Social

Everyone knows you can catch me in Charleston, SC on any given weekend. It’s my home away from home. So I was stoked to see an invite from Liz and Mimi at the Cannonborough Collective for their Bloggers & Creatives Ice Cream Social. I’ve been dying to get to their shop because have you seen their Instagram photos? This place looks like it stepped out of the pages of a magazine! Plus their balloon wall…you really haven’t lived until you get a picture in front of it.

Not to mention, they had Jeni’s Ice Cream – so yummy and they sell it at Publix now! (woo hooo) I decided to let my oldest tag along so that we could enjoy some mother-daughter time.

What I loved most about this place was it’s the perfect location for creatives. They even host workshops there. (How cool is that?)  It’s your one-stop shop for local gifts and balloons. I picked up some soap from Motherland Essentials. They carry jewelry, pillows, paintings, shirts and more! 

Liz & mimi 

Meet The Founders

Mimi Striplin, a College of Charleston graduate, left life in the haberdashery world behind and founded The Tiny Tassel in the summer of 2015. Designing and creating each tassel by hand with hopes of bringing a little joy to Charleston has led her to offer a full line of handmade jewelry and garments made up of bright colors and classic prints which are available at retailers across the country.

Liz Martin created an online shop, The Charleston Weekender, in 2015 to add a little creativity to her life as a speech therapist.  Her line of products quickly emerged into a lifestyle blog intended to inspire Charlestonians to live every day more like it’s the weekend.  She offers products discovered during her travels, as well as some of her own designs/products that are sold at a number of local retailers.

*Bio from their website. 

And if you’re ever in the Downtown Charleston Area make sure you stop by! They are located at 185 A. St. Philip St. Charleston, SC 29403.

All photos provided by Aneris Photography

Cannonborough Collective: https://cannonboroughcollective.com

Ice Cream: https://jenis.com

You even get a #freebie on your way out!

Back to School: It's ALMOST Time

Moms and Dads,

Psst…school will be starting in a month! Are you ready? Some of us are, we can’t wait while others don’t know where to begin. This is a big year in our household. Kaydence is going to 5th grade and Maddy will start Kindergarten!

Wow, I have a 5 and 10 year old…that’s kinda scary but that’s another story for a different day.

I’m going to start shopping ASAP. I HATE crowds and I am not a last minute mama. Most schools have their school supply list out now so start grabbing items!

Mom Tip: Buy extra just because your children have supplies at school does NOT mean they’re bringing them home. I keep a caddy of school supplies ready to go for homework time. Most schools have community pools so there is no need to label your child’s items because there is no guarantee that they will get “that” pack of crayons you bought.

School shopping can get out of hand quickly! Having more than one child doesn’t make it easy so I stay looking out for a deal. I set a budget, I plan to spend no more than $500 to get my girls ready for school. This includes clothing, shoes, and supplies.

How I plan to do this is shop the sales!!! School supplies are out now! Walmart, Target, and Staples all have started stocking their shelves with supplies.

I like going to the outlets to maximize my money. Last year I was able to score the girls 6 pairs of shoes for under $100! (Winning!!!)

via GIPHY

How do you prepare for back to school shopping?

Some of my favorite items to stock up on are crayons, markers, printer paper, glue, and if I find a great deal I’ll grab some extra ink too. My oldest uses the computer about as much as I do, so I like to make sure that she’s ready to print when needed.

Target has Crayola products on sale: spend $25 get a $5 gift card until July 21, 2018.

Meant to Blend | Blended Families

I think I’ve known for a while that I would have a blended family. One big melted pot of goodness. I didn’t know what it would look like or how it would feel but I did know that as long as love was the key ingredient I would be down.

My view of the world is different than others. I don’t believe everything is so black and white. You can’t make everything a cookie cutter situation but what you can do is take what you have a make magic.

“Bonus families tell us the story that second chances are possible and that love can overcome anything.”

My relationship with my children’s father was just not meant to be. I know, understand and have accepted that for quite some time now. I believe it takes a strong person to admit or even comprehend that maybe JUST maybe the only purpose that person served in your life was to help you create those beautiful babies and THAT’S IT! It’s hard to wrap your mind around…I know. You wonder how they could not want to be apart. Why don’t they try…etc? Guess what?! That’s NOT your job! You are responsible for YOU! We can’t force people to do things they are unwilling and have you seen the news lately? I won’t force a dog to something they don’t want to. Sometimes, it’s just better that way.

Since, my acceptance of this fact there are a few things I’ve had to come to terms with.

1.      I may not parent like my partner.

2.      Set boundaries – children, other parents.

3.      Communicate your goals effectively.

4.      Prepare your children.

5.      Let your children have an opinion in the relationship.

Number 1 - has probably been the hardest for me. I tend to date people who are the COMPLETE opposite of myself. I’m very reserved…I enjoy a good time but I don’t let my hair down as often as I should. In turn, I have found myself with very outgoing people that challenge me. They allow their children to be wild and free and I grew up with the mentality that children should only be seen and not heard. I still believe that is true is some sense.

Number 2 – setting boundaries not only with the children but the other parents! You have to have rules about those things. Be a united front with the children. Even when you don’t agree the kids CANNOT pit you against each other and yes there are times when you’ll want to be slack a child for whatever reason but we can’t. There is no good cop/bad cop. Each party is responsible for dealing with the outside parent. Although, I would love it if everyone would be all together that’s not where we are at this moment. (One day, fingers crossed)

Number 3 – Family goals! I am big on having goals and making sure that a family is functioning properly we must have some goals in place. They can be simple as getting in the habit of having family meetings and this can be tough especially when you have kids in different households most of the time. Maybe you have that on lock already, so a savings goal maybe better, whatever your needs stick to them.

Number 4 – Prepare your children! This probably seems like a no brainer but remember you aren’t the only ones who are blending. Your children need to feel safe with their new bonus family. It’s going to take time. A therapist once told me that before blending completely the family should spend time together throughout the week, if possible. If one family is moving into one house then the other parent and children should spend the night a few nights a week to help the children adjust.

Number 5 – Allow your children to have an opinion about your relationship. I’m not saying let your children CONTROL the relationship but they should get a say so in it. Imagine how difficult it would be to have to be at war with your spouse and child all the time. It’s not a fun place to be. Sometimes, your children can pick up on things that you can’t and you need to listen to that!

Most importantly, love like you never have before. Your heart has to be BIG to love and care for someone else’s children. Blended families are not for everyone!

Do you have some insight on blended families or want to share your story? Hit me up!