My Body, My Choice: Why I’m Choosing Tubal Ligation

In today’s society we have all heard the term “feminist” and many have spoken out about women’s rights. I also believe that this falls into this category and I’m choosing to cut off my child making abilities.

As a young girl, I struggled with heavy periods and was put on birth control to help combat the symptoms. It worked until it didn’t. The side effects were no longer safe for someone my age.

At age 20, I discovered I had PCOS which was a complete shock because I had a child already and thought my diagnosis was incorrect. I was at my highest weight, started developing facial hair (yikes) and hadn’t had a period in over 6 months.

Fast forward, although the things mentioned above have very little to do with my decision making I knew this would be the last baby for me.

For starters, I believe you have to be realistic with yourself. Are you able to afford to continuously reproduce? I for one am not… at least not continue to do so and give my children the life I want them to have. I have very ambitious girls, they enjoying doing things and I don’t want my lack of resources to limit that.

I come from a very traditional background and have always been raised with the mindset that the mother will be the one to carry the load when it comes to raising the children. My plate is already full and I don’t want to take on more than I can handle.

After careful consideration, I decided that tubal ligation was right for me. I didn’t want to use birth control as a contraceptive method due to all of the health risk and understanding the way my body responds.

Before you make a choice - decide what’s right for you! I am a firm believer that things can change at the drop of a dime. So know your options on birth control and choose wisely!

After my little one is here I will be sure to give you all an update on how the procedure went. I will be having it done in conjunction with my c-section.

How I'm handing being Plus Size and Pregnant

Photo by: Denise Benson Photography 

Photo by: Denise Benson Photography 

Being a plus sized woman in America is hard especially when you see women paraded on television that look nothing like you. Even the plus size models have a particular shape. It’s usually the coke bottle, pear shape and ya girl here doesn’t have it! I’ve struggled to fit into the typical plus size world because I’m not super curvy and I would get dirty looks shopping in plus sizes stores. On more than one occasion the sales associate told me she thought I was lost. 😒

I’ve been plus sized for most of my life. It didn’t really hit me that being plus sized and pregnant mattered…not until I got my paperwork at check from my doctor. They gave me a cute little sheet that had my weight, height, how much I have loss or gained (I lost weight by the way) and my BMI. IT WAS 34! I’m considered obese. My doctor hasn’t harped on me about losing but she has encouraged me to move – start walking for 5 minutes a day just to get the blood flowing. And honestly, I’m not mad. She has treated me like a human – which is all I want. I know I weigh more than I should but I don't need to be reminded of that every time I go to the doctor.

What being plus size and pregnant means to me is still being able to be fabulous and pregnant? I can do any and everything every other woman can do. I WILL take those maternity photos. I WILL share my growing belly. I WILL give in to my cravings and I will enjoy this pregnancy!

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I believe pregnancy is supposed to be a joyous time. I'm determined to do that. I move when my body says move and I rest when my body tells me to. Understanding what's best for you and baby is the best thing you can do while pregnant!

What are or were your biggest fears during pregnancy?

 

Goodbye 1st Trimester

Baby Bump in full effect!  Swimsuit can be found  here !   Photo by: denise benson photography 

Baby Bump in full effect!  Swimsuit can be found here

Photo by: denise benson photography 

Hi Friends,

I’ve been struggling to write this post…not because I didn’t want to but I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted to say. Not to mention, I’ve been exhausted…my lower back and hips hurt and I’m not even halfway through yet. I had to come to terms with having another baby. (Totally not a part of the plan) I believe my partner and I both knew we just didn’t want to face the truth but reality would quickly slap us in the face.

I remember that weekend like it was yesterday. I went to brush my teeth and started gagging. He immediately popped out of bed and threatened to go to Walmart to get a pregnancy test. I was completely opposed to the idea because I’d been spotting for days, plus I have PCOS so there was no way I could be pregnant.  When I look back on that moment now...I wish I did allow him to go get the test and I wouldn’t have found out alone…

Instead, I went home but something just didn’t seem right about this drive. My spirit would not settle. I felt so uneasy and kept replaying his comments in my head. Mind you…I was 45 days late but in my defense sprinkles of blood appeared. Something told me to go get a test. What was the worst that could happen? Besides it confirming what we already knew but on the bright side if it was negative I would never have to mention it. Life would return to normal.

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I sat on the toilet and peed. (TMI) I set the timer on my phone for 3 minutes and waited but I notice something. The test looked funny it changed colors so fast and I instantly placed my head in my hands because those 3 minutes were not up. These were the LONGEST 3 minutes of my life! I was in complete an utter shock. I just knew this test was wrong. Thank goodness I bought 2. The joke was on me, they were both positive. I video chatted him and he was half asleep. Of course, with all of my theatrics, he was awake QUICKLY. Once he came to, I placed the pregnancy test in front of the camera and he gave this weird, devilish smile that he does often when he comes up with some awesome plan. He was excited! We didn’t speak it was that silence where no one knows what to say but it’s perfect. And because I needed words I broke the silence and asked: “so what are we gonna do?” He laughed and responded, “keep it.” I couldn’t speak. I wasn’t upset or anything…it’s just I have never had this experience before. Finding out I was pregnant in the past has always been so traumatic. This time it was normal…I felt normal.

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My honey was happy – like extremely happy so how could I not be? We decided to keep this little news to ourselves until we found out a due date and if the pregnancy was viable. The appointment came and my little peanut was there! Hearing the heartbeat brought tears to my eyes. I was in complete disbelief – somehow I thought this was all a dream and when we went for the ultrasound that nothing would be there…

I met my doctor and she was as sweet as pie but brutally honest. I’ve always had a dream of giving birth at home in a pool. She chuckled and said, “ain’t gonna happen.” (I’ve had two previous caesareans and the risk are too high.)

The first trimester has FLOWN by. I’m 14 weeks into this thing and it’s had its ups and down. Many nights I’ve cried unsure if this is really what I wanted at 27 years old with two school-age children. Then I was reminded that there are so many women with my condition (PCOS) that could only dream of this moment and here I am complaining. Life is short but this will be the last one! (tubes will be tied)

My morning sickness has finally calmed down, our 12-week scan went beautifully and outside of my constant back pain I’m okay. I’m counting it all joy!

Any other moms to be out there? Let me know how you're feeling!