Meant to Blend | Blended Families

I think I’ve known for a while that I would have a blended family. One big melted pot of goodness. I didn’t know what it would look like or how it would feel but I did know that as long as love was the key ingredient I would be down.

My view of the world is different than others. I don’t believe everything is so black and white. You can’t make everything a cookie cutter situation but what you can do is take what you have a make magic.

“Bonus families tell us the story that second chances are possible and that love can overcome anything.”

My relationship with my children’s father was just not meant to be. I know, understand and have accepted that for quite some time now. I believe it takes a strong person to admit or even comprehend that maybe JUST maybe the only purpose that person served in your life was to help you create those beautiful babies and THAT’S IT! It’s hard to wrap your mind around…I know. You wonder how they could not want to be apart. Why don’t they try…etc? Guess what?! That’s NOT your job! You are responsible for YOU! We can’t force people to do things they are unwilling and have you seen the news lately? I won’t force a dog to something they don’t want to. Sometimes, it’s just better that way.

Since, my acceptance of this fact there are a few things I’ve had to come to terms with.


1.      I may not parent like my partner.

2.      Set boundaries – children, other parents.

3.      Communicate your goals effectively.

4.      Prepare your children.

5.      Let your children have an opinion in the relationship.

Number 1 - has probably been the hardest for me. I tend to date people who are the COMPLETE opposite of myself. I’m very reserved…I enjoy a good time but I don’t let my hair down as often as I should. In turn, I have found myself with very outgoing people that challenge me. They allow their children to be wild and free and I grew up with the mentality that children should only be seen and not heard. I still believe that is true is some sense.

Number 2 – setting boundaries not only with the children but the other parents! You have to have rules about those things. Be a united front with the children. Even when you don’t agree the kids CANNOT pit you against each other and yes there are times when you’ll want to be slack a child for whatever reason but we can’t. There is no good cop/bad cop. Each party is responsible for dealing with the outside parent. Although, I would love it if everyone would be all together that’s not where we are at this moment. (One day, fingers crossed)

Number 3 – Family goals! I am big on having goals and making sure that a family is functioning properly we must have some goals in place. They can be simple as getting in the habit of having family meetings and this can be tough especially when you have kids in different households most of the time. Maybe you have that on lock already, so a savings goal maybe better, whatever your needs stick to them.

Number 4 – Prepare your children! This probably seems like a no brainer but remember you aren’t the only ones who are blending. Your children need to feel safe with their new bonus family. It’s going to take time. A therapist once told me that before blending completely the family should spend time together throughout the week, if possible. If one family is moving into one house then the other parent and children should spend the night a few nights a week to help the children adjust.

Number 5 – Allow your children to have an opinion about your relationship. I’m not saying let your children CONTROL the relationship but they should get a say so in it. Imagine how difficult it would be to have to be at war with your spouse and child all the time. It’s not a fun place to be. Sometimes, your children can pick up on things that you can’t and you need to listen to that!

Most importantly, love like you never have before. Your heart has to be BIG to love and care for someone else’s children. Blended families are not for everyone!

Do you have some insight on blended families or want to share your story? Hit me up!



Hello Summer 🌞🌞🌞

Summer hasn't officially began but it's coming this week! So I'm geared up for lazy days on the beach! I even have a bucket list of things I want to accomplish this summer. Wish me luck!

The girls and I finally made it to the beach! We thought this South Carolina weather was going to fail us, yet again, but to our surprise it did not! Thank goodness, because I did not want to be stuck in the house. I've been extremely tired these days and I can't imagine having restless, whining kids.

Beach days are ALWAYS my go to! They're fun, affordable, and you can make memories that last a lifetime.

Freely Nat Fam

My Beach Must Haves

Planning for a fun beach day can be easy! With only a few simple things you'll be ready to rock and roll!

1. Bottled water

2. Snacks (don't forget snacks, unless you want to spend the extra money finding stuff at the beach)

3. Sunscreen

4. Towels

5. Blankets

6. Buckets and shovels

7. Trash bag (don't be a litter bug!)

8. Wagon (optional)

9. Chairs (optional)

10. Umbrella (optional, I found one pretty cheap at Walmart for under $20)

11. Radio (optional)

12. Camera (phones work, too)

13. Cooler with ICE

Bring these items and you'll have yourself a day! Sometimes, I pack sandwiches if it's going to be a long day. I like to stay at the beach for at least 3 hours. This gives me a chance to layout and my kids a chance to tire out! WIN-WIN for all! 



Summer's Coming.png
cherry kisses

Let me not forget to mention, this cute 2-piece I rocked at the beach! I couldn't believe how bold I was but honey, it's 2018 and who cares! I love it!!!!! It's cute, comfy, and affordable. I paid under $20 for this baby! Can you say winning! Get yours today and if you're a prime member 2 - day shipping!!!


Teen Pregnancy Prevention Event

Recently, I had an epiphany. It was like the light bulb just went off in my head and things finally started to click again. While planning content for each month, I like to have a theme and it felt like I had no clue what to talk about for May besides Mother's Day. 

And boom...just like that, I was invited to an event that brought everything full circle. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a Wine and Oyster Night for the SC Teen Pregnancy Prevention Agency. After having my oldest daughter, I always said I wanted to make sure other young girls were more cautious and informed than I was. This event lit a fire in me and gave me the motivation I needed to get back on track with my mission. Check out the photos from the event!   

I was so nervous...if you know me you know I don't do crowds! I'm very shy but I realized that without stepping outside of my comfort zone I would not be able to take myself to the next level. I put on my big girl panties and showed up! Everyone there was friendly and the food was great! So it wasn't so bad after all. 

Fun Fact: Teen pregnancy has been on the decline in South Carolina since 1991!!!

I'm truly blessed to experience what life has waiting for me. Remember life happens when YOU do!

Special Thanks to my little sissy Brittnay, (sister by choice) for attending with me. When God places special people in your life treat them well. Brittany was there for me EVERY step of the way during my pregnancy and I'm truly gratful! 

Mother's Day 2018 💐💐💐

Motherhood is a choice you make every day, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is...and to forgive yourself, over and over again for doing everything wrong
— Donna Ball

Have you ever had the feeling of needing to PRESS your way? Meaning you need to keep going even when you don't want to. That was me, Sunday. I just didn't want to. I felt so out of it. I had such an emotional day with my children the day before that I was mentally and physically exhausted. I sent the girls to church early with my mom so I could have few moments to gather myself. Well, I lost track of time. I found myself playing music and lighting candles...once I caught a glance at the clock I knew I needed to get a move on it. I'm so glad I did!



My granny and i 

My granny and i 

mommy and me

mommy and me

The message was right on time, as it usually is when you don't feel like going to church. I felt a little better about things knowing that this was just a moment in time and not a forever place that I would be in. My daughters will get older. Fighting is normal, my sister and I did it forever! The only difference is my 4 year old is EXTREMELY bossy and my oldest doesn't know how to handle that.

But that's not what made this day so special for me. After church, I went to my Granny's house where my aunt and cousins joined us and I realized something. We have A LOT of women in my family. Where are the men? Not saying that you need a man but when do our children see a male figure in their lives? I grew up with both of my parents but their relationship is different than what I vision for myself. My grand father died a few years ago and he was an amazing man. I try not to allow myself to think about him because it's painful. One of those things I don't think I've fully dealt with...but that's a different story.


My mother and I ended the night with one of her best friend's and her daughters. It brought EVERYTHING full circle for me. This has been happening A LOT lately and I'm so grateful for the clarity. It was just a typical night but conversations begin to spark and ideas were being shared and in a group of 7 women we all had different experiences. It didn't matter that my mother raised me or that her friend raised her daughters we were all DIFFERENT. That made me want more...I felt the need to engage in adult conversation with older women. Sometimes, you need to take a back seat and listen. People can share things with you that you never knew you needed. One thing that stood out to me most from that was when Mrs. W responded to my mother's comment of "hearing someone else's story helps you to realize that you are not as bad off as you thought you were." with "Yes, but that doesn't make your story less important or real." That cut me like a knife!!! I think we are constantly telling others "it's not so bad" or "you could have it worse" and not allowing that person to feel their pain and have that moment. There is so much healing that HAS to happen. Mothers and daughters, sisters and brothers, FAMILIES need to have those hard conversations. It's time to stop sweeping things under the rug and we wonder why we're walking around with broken children! 

I went out on a limb and reached out to Mrs. W with the idea of us gathering more to share experiences, give advice and speak openly about a variety of topics. She said YES, so I can't wait for this to happen. I'm even more excited after watching Red Table Talk my heart is so full and I can't wait. I hope your Mother's Day was fabulous! 

Also, are you watching Red Table Talk? If so, let me know what you think!