13 Reasons Why

I like many people in America have seen this plastered across our timelines "13 Reasons Why..." This Netflix series has taken off! I remember starting it last year but I couldn't bring myself to watch it. It felt like a place I wasn't willing to go.  

I mean really, who wants to hear about why someone committed suicide but you know what I get it and I like it. These are conversations that need to be had. Why aren't we talking to our kids? My biggest fear is to know that my child is hurting and I can't see it. Sometimes our kids are so good at hiding things from us but are we paying attention?

I remember high school being a nightmare for me and I know it's only gotten worst. I've spoken with several moms who have chosen to let their children do school online or homeschool them because they just can't deal with the mess that's happening. I completely understand their choice but I don't think I could do that. I have to work so quitting my job and homeschooling isn't an option for me. But what I can do is make sure that I'm raising strong children who know how to use their voice. 

There are several episodes I would love to dive into, but I won't especially if you haven't seen it. 

“You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything. . . affects everything.” 
― Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why

Have you ever had one incident changed your ENTIRE life? Like you could never erase it. It just won't go away. It just keeps haunting you. A major part of the reason I started blogging was to take that fear away. I would not be forced into silence. So I understand why Hannah choose to leave behind those tapes - she needed her voice to be heard. 

I have always appeared to be older than I actually was and that has been a gift and a curse but as a 9- year old girl that looked 13 or so, it was HORRIBLE! Granted there is no excuse for what the person did and how they behaved...

I used to be extremely fond of rollerblading. I would skate in my parent's driveway almost every day after school. I probably did it a little too often because one day a man showed up out of nowhere. It scared me. I didn't know what was about to happen to me but I recognized the man because he worked at my school. He kept talking to me and wanting to know if my parents were home...it began to feel very uncomfortable and thank God my mom came outside. My mom questioned him but he didn't give any answers and she shoosed him away. It was weird and scary. Who knows what would have happened to me. Could I have been on someone's milk carton? My mom, being the type of mother she is wasn't going for that foolishness. She went to the school and reported the incident. He was let go due to the nature of his behavior and told to stay away from my family and I.

That incident changed my life and not in a good way. It was my first lesson with the rape culture and how you're expected not to say anything. I was bullied for months behind this. It was awful!!!!!! It got so bad that I didn't ride the bus to or from school anymore because people felt that I wanted the attention and shouldn't have been upset about getting it.

Some things may never change, children will be picked on...but what should we do? I believe as a parent it's my job to teach my children right from wrong. It's my job to help them understand that being mean to someone does not give them a leg up in the world.

Have you watched? If so, what are your thoughts? Is there anything you would change?

PTSD Awareness Day

PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Awareness

Since 2010, Congress named June 27th as National PTSD Awareness Day and in 2014, the Senate designated the whole month of June as National PTSD Awareness Month. (www.ptsd.vs.gov)

When most people hear PTSD they are quick to associated the disorder with military service. Although, this is very common that people who have served and fought in war may experience some side effects it can be experienced in ANYONE who has faced a traumatic experience. Be careful not to assume that everyone has it because that may not be the case. Also, there are two types; chronic (ongoing) and acute (short term).

Signs can appear as early as 3 months after the traumatic event and even up to years later! According to the National Institute of Mental Health states that symptoms must last more than a month and be severe enough to interfere with relationships or work to be considered PTSD. The course of the illness varies. Some people recover within 6 months, while others have symptoms that last much longer.

A doctor who has experience helping people with mental illnesses, such as a psychiatrist or psychologist, can diagnose PTSD.

In March 2018, I was officially diagnosed with PTSD. Subconsciously, I knew I did. I didn't want to face the reality that my past was still haunting me. I remember my doctor telling me it... just as calm as could be and I think that's how we need to hear things. We were discussing my health issues and medications and despite his utter shock that my previous doctor was trying to kill me - he felt sympathy. He wanted to know what happened to me. He wanted to understand why a 27-year old woman, moderately healthy was on 6 different medications that could potentially kill her. (If taken at once.) I gave him the short version of my story and all he could say was "I'm sorry...as doctor's sometimes we like to throw medication at the problem and we don't take time to deal with our patients." That experience changed me. I felt like I needed to start handling my ish and not just dealing. 

I have learned that if you don't deal with your problems and choose to bury them then you'll deal with them forever! It only goes away temporarily. You learn to hide your feelings and you really begin to believe that you're okay. Trust me, I thought I was fine until a recent breakdown that shattered my complete existence.  

Growing up there were some things you just swept under the rug. There was no need to talk about everything. I believe that's a REAL problem especially in the African American community. However, that's a topic for another day. The most important thing that we know and understand is how to learn the signs. Pay attention to the people you love. You never know who is going through.

Not to mention...Kate Spade committed suicide this month! I wonder how many people saw it coming...

(Information provided by the National Institute for Mental Health)

To be diagnosed with PTSD, an adult must have all of the following for at least 1 month:

• At least one re-experiencing symptom
• At least one avoidance symptom
• At least two arousal and reactivity symptoms
• At least two cognition and mood symptoms

Re-experiencing symptoms include:

• Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
• Bad dreams
• Frightening thoughts

Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. The symptoms can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing symptoms.

Avoid familiar places but when you're ready its okay to return once you feel that you're safe. I believe it's okay to revisit once you're healed and ONLY then! If not, the triggers will come when you least expect them. I remember not knowing if I was coming or going. 

If you don't remember or take away anything else...know that people are hurting. We all have life experiences some good and bad. For those of us who suffer, choose not to suffer in silence! You are not alone.

If you need help call: 1-888-457-4838 (military), Suicide Prevention: 1-800-273-8255, Crisis Text Line: Text CONNECT to 741741.

Hello Summer 🌞🌞🌞

Summer hasn't officially began but it's coming this week! So I'm geared up for lazy days on the beach! I even have a bucket list of things I want to accomplish this summer. Wish me luck!

The girls and I finally made it to the beach! We thought this South Carolina weather was going to fail us, yet again, but to our surprise it did not! Thank goodness, because I did not want to be stuck in the house. I've been extremely tired these days and I can't imagine having restless, whining kids.

Beach days are ALWAYS my go to! They're fun, affordable, and you can make memories that last a lifetime.

My Beach Must Haves

Planning for a fun beach day can be easy! With only a few simple things you'll be ready to rock and roll!

1. Bottled water

2. Snacks (don't forget snacks, unless you want to spend the extra money finding stuff at the beach)

3. Sunscreen

4. Towels

5. Blankets

6. Buckets and shovels

7. Trash bag (don't be a litter bug!)

8. Wagon (optional)

9. Chairs (optional)

10. Umbrella (optional, I found one pretty cheap at Walmart for under $20)

11. Radio (optional)

12. Camera (phones work, too)

13. Cooler with ICE

Bring these items and you'll have yourself a day! Sometimes, I pack sandwiches if it's going to be a long day. I like to stay at the beach for at least 3 hours. This gives me a chance to layout and my kids a chance to tire out! WIN-WIN for all! 

Let me not forget to mention, this cute 2-piece I rocked at the beach! I couldn't believe how bold I was but honey, it's 2018 and who cares! I love it!!!!! It's cute, comfy, and affordable. I paid under $20 for this baby! Can you say winning! Get yours today and if you're a prime member 2 - day shipping!!!

South Carolina Aquarium 🐟🐠🐠

Kay hates taking pics but she knows her mom blogs, so it's a part of the job! 

Wow, what a weekend! I had every intention of getting some rest and possibly hitting the beach but we all know life doesn’t happen the way we want it to.

What I would give to be laying in the sun right now! (Insert real tears) the water is my spirit animal. I feel safe and calm when I’m near it. When I’m in it...it’s like God just wants me to float away with Him. He reminds me that He is in control!

Kaydence asked for a beach weekend to wrap up her birthday week and she knew I would be down. I checked the weather and it looked like we were good to go BUT that’s SC for ya! You never know what’s gonna happen. On Wednesday the forecast was a high of 86 and by Friday night it was raining!!!

What’s a mom to do? Google!!! I swear Google saves me more than I would like to admit. So here’s to searching for indoor things to do in Charleston. There were a few things on my list but I had to quickly remember this weekend wasn’t about me. So I didn’t get to pick. We ended up at the South Carolina Aquarium totally not where I wanted to go but I was pleasantly surprised! It was nice!!

Maddy and I opted to try the bird's nest! 

So, if you're heading to the Low Country you might want to stop by especially if you get rained out like we did. I'll give you some quick need to know info!

South Carolina Aquarium 

Hours of Operation:

Daily 9:00 am - 4:00 pm (Closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and noon on Christmas Eve)

*No flash photography on certain things.*

Prices:

Children 3-12: $22.95 (under 3 FREE)

Adults 13+: $29.95

My favorite part was the outdoor exhibit! It was so neat seeing the birds up close and NO you can't touch them! So please, don't try. I promise it won't end well, lol!

I think the kids enjoyed the Lego exhibits best! They loved how they recreated some of the examples. Overall, the kids had a great time! It was worth the money and very educational! So if you're in the area, stop by!!!