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Welcome to Motherhood - My Way
I'm not your typical mom. I had my oldest daughter at 17 and my second at 21. Life has handed me quite a few lemons 🍋🍋🍋 but I'm determined to make lemonade. I'm learning ways to raise two amazing young ladies and I love it. Surprise, what would life be if we didn’t have a few unexpected turns. Now I have a handsome son that has joined our chaotic crew. Everyday isn't pretty. There are tears and I mean real tears...those ugly cries. My goal is to be as transparent as possible. I want to share what I wish someone would have told me about motherhood.
I will also highlight other moms that rock. I know my story isn't like everyone else's but I want to reach a board audience of women so that we can share, grow, and connect!!!
Whoever said motherhood would be glamorous lied! They didn't tell you that some days you'll spend more nights crying than you do laughing. They didn't explain that when your child messes up it doesn't make YOU a failure.
Parenting is hard work - a job that can't be taken lightly. I believe it takes a village to raise a child. Children need supportive people pouring into their lives. They need to see what role models look like in real life - not what they see on television.
Lately, motherhood has been hard and I mean REALLY HARD. I can't remember the last time I've cried this much over my children. In case you're not hip to me, I have two girls currently 9 and 5. My 9-year-old is a cake walk compared to the 5-year-old. The 5-year-old, Maddy, is a complex creature; one minute she is affectionate and courteous and the next it's like the Bride of Chucky. My mom says she is just like me; I was a handful growing up. I know I was challenging but my goodness, I did not know it was this bad. I was very strong-willed and you 'no' was never a word. (It still isn't, I don't like to hear it, lol) I have apologized a dozen times because if I was anything like this, OMG!
Sometimes, I get so frustrated because it feels like I don't get a break. I'm constantly working to better myself so that in return they can have a better life. Some days, I wish I had my tag partner so I could tap out for just a few but I don't...unfortunately. I'm not complaining...just venting. I remember being told that when a woman gets pregnant she has to know that she may have to do it ALONE. I didn't understand that at first but Lord knows I do now.
I'm not saying every part of motherhood is bad because that would be a lie, but it can be difficult. I'm going to wipe my tears and keep trucking but I want other moms to know that we will be okay. One day we're going to turn around and wonder how did we raise such wonder humans. I'm certain this won't be the last time I cry over the rough patches but in the end they will be worth it.
"Everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain, but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain." -Unknown
Soooooooooo, I’ve had a major sweet tooth lately and while shopping in my local Walmart, there was a huge display for brownies. I have a thing for fudgy brownies and when I saw the box labeled “fudge” I knew they were just for me. Surprisingly, I didn’t go home and bake them right away but I waited for the weekend and O-M-G they were worth the wait! I followed the instructions exactly and got the fudginess that I was looking for. Good look Betty!
P.S. Moms, this was super cheap and fun to do with the kids.
I believe you are never too old or too young to learn from someone else. Ever heard the saying, "Out of the mouth of babes"? (you know what I’m talking about lol) I've been blessed to have a great and inspiring friend, teacher and mentor over the years. As I began my workout journey, he would yell this chant with his children:
My Friend: “What do we do?!”
His Children: “We work!”
This is amazing! It’s crazy that you can see something so simple and become inspired. Whether we want them to or not, our children are watching and they WILL model your behavior!
I’ve also noticed that people have come up with their own family motto/mantras and I think that is so cool! It is important that families do this because to teach your children a sense of unity. I, however, don’t have one...yet! I plan to work on that.
Take a look here if you would like to create your own also leave some comments below and let me know what your family motto is.
Close to a year ago I saw a video floating around on Facebook on the topic of "Coparenting". Personally, I do not co-parent. It has been a dream of mine but I also understand that not everyone can co-parent.
I have always been taught that a child is better off with 4 parents rather than two that don’t get along. That is a motto that I’ve held close. My children’s father and I CANNOT be together and we know that but how awesome would it be to share a certain level of cordiality for the sake of our girls.
I want to hear from you! Have you tried co-parenting? What are the benefits? Drawbacks? Let me know how co-parenting works for you. All healthy tips welcomed!
Check out the video below:
As parents, at some point, we have felt like an ultimate failure. Parenthood does NOT come with a guide. No matter the books you read, research you've done or classes taken, you are never truly prepared for what life throws at you.
With my oldest, I was not ready to be a mom but I knew that I had to do it. As a high school student, I realized it was the unpopular choice but I did not want to think back on “what if.” Could I live with the guilt of not giving birth or giving her away? A lot of people wanted my daughter. They felt that they would give me a new lease on life BUT that wasn’t the right option for me.
My biggest failure was allowing violence and hostility around her. I was in an abusive relationship with her father and for so long, I stayed. She became familiar with the yelling, screaming and the often breaking of items in the house. One day I'll share the story of how I got out but I can't help but wonder how that experience affected her. Would she be more outgoing having not been exposed to this at an early age?
With my second child, I did my best to get it right and in my efforts, I may have over indulged with her. I spent almost two years at home and she was attached at my hip. Now don’t get me wrong I LOVED being a stay at home mom. It was the best decision of my life BUT I realized that I needed to teach her some independence in order to have a well mannered and balanced child.
No parent is perfect. What IS perfect is the depth of love we have for our children. We never stop trying to get it right. Hold your babies tight! Know that you will make mistakes but your love will never fade and love conquers all!