As parents, at some point, we have felt like an ultimate failure. Parenthood does NOT come with a guide. No matter the books you read, research you've done or classes taken, you are never truly prepared for what life throws at you.
With my oldest, I was not ready to be a mom but I knew that I had to do it. As a high school student, I realized it was the unpopular choice but I did not want to think back on “what if.” Could I live with the guilt of not giving birth or giving her away? A lot of people wanted my daughter. They felt that they would give me a new lease on life BUT that wasn’t the right option for me.
My biggest failure was allowing violence and hostility around her. I was in an abusive relationship with her father and for so long, I stayed. She became familiar with the yelling, screaming and the often breaking of items in the house. One day I'll share the story of how I got out but I can't help but wonder how that experience affected her. Would she be more outgoing having not been exposed to this at an early age?
With my second child, I did my best to get it right and in my efforts, I may have over indulged with her. I spent almost two years at home and she was attached at my hip. Now don’t get me wrong I LOVED being a stay at home mom. It was the best decision of my life BUT I realized that I needed to teach her some independence in order to have a well mannered and balanced child.
No parent is perfect. What IS perfect is the depth of love we have for our children. We never stop trying to get it right. Hold your babies tight! Know that you will make mistakes but your love will never fade and love conquers all!