Entering My Well Read Black Girl Era

Reading can take you places you have never been before. - Dr. Seuss 

I remember seeing the hashtag #wellreadblackgirl everywhere and took a little and wanted to dive into reading again, but it just wasn’t the time. I’ve listened to audiobooks over the years, maybe 2-3 per year, but I haven’t picked up a book in FOREVER. I realized that something had to change. I used to enjoy reading. It was a way for me to escape; I even did some poetry writing many moons ago. 

So here’s to getting back to enjoying the things I love.

Books I’ve read recently that I think you should too!

Before I Let Go - Kennedy Ryan

I boo hoo cried with this book. It was everything I didn’t know I needed at that moment. This book tackles various common issues we face in life; grief, loss, love, and hope.

Dear Black Girl: Letters From Your Sisters on Stepping Into Your Power

Black (teen) girls everywhere need this book. I needed this book when I was younger. Tamara, you did this; you answered the call, and to the women that helped - thank you. Maybe I’ll put it on my to-do list to write my own letter because it was precisely what is needed.

Finding Me  - Viola Davis 

I always loved Viola, but now I really LOVE Viola Davis! I listened to this as an audiobook, and it was soooooooooo good. Hearing her tell her story made it that much better. It reminded me my story isn’t over. I may not be where I want to be, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.

Me Before You - Jojo Moyes

This was such a beautiful love story, one to make you laugh and cry a little. It’s a great reminder of what’s truly important in life. What are you willing to give up for your own happiness?

My Current TBR List

While my list is rather long, I will skip the long list and give you the condensed version or at least what I think I’ll read next.

Black Girls Must Die Exhausted - Jayne Allen 

(Book 1 of 3)

Category: Family Life, African American Women, Friendship 

Black Cake - Charmaine Wilkerson

Category: Historical Fiction, Mystery, Contemporary, Family   

Maame - Jessica George

Category: Coming of Age, Literary Fiction, Family 

The Perfect Marriage - Jeneva Rose

Category: Thriller, Mystery, Crime, Fiction

The Poet X - Elizabeth Acevedo

Category: YA, Realistic Fiction, Romance, Coming of Age, LGBT 

Happy Mental Health Month 2023

As a black woman that has struggled with her mental health for years, I must celebrate mental health month! We are expected to be strong and have it all together, but not all of us do.

It’s time to change the narrative; mental health is health care. I remember thinking that I was less than for experiencing episodes of depression or being crippled with anxiety. Still, I needed to find ways to manage these things through therapy and medication.

I wanted to take the time to highlight the article below by Mental Health America. This organization is committed to promoting mental health as a critical part of a person’s overall well-being.

Look Around, Look Within: Your surroundings say a lot about your mental health!

Take a moment to consider your surroundings. Do you feel safe? Do you have access to health care and grocery stores? Does your home support you, both physically and mentally?

This Mental Health Month, challenge yourself to look at your world and how different factors can affect your mental health.

 Where a person is born, lives, learns, works, plays, and gathers, as well as their economic stability and social connections, are part of what is called “social determinants of health” (SDOH). The more these factors work in your favor means you are more likely to have better mental well-being. However, when it seems like the world is working against you, your mental health can suffer. While many parts of your environment can be out of your control, there are steps you can take to change your space and protect your well-being.

• Work toward securing safe and stable housing: This can be challenging due to finances, age, and other reasons, but there are a few things you can try, such as reaching out to state/local agencies to secure housing, removing safety hazards in the home, or finding another space (such as a community center or friend’s home) where you can get the comfort you are missing at home.

• Focus on your home: Consider keeping your space tidy, sleep-friendly, and well-ventilated. Surround yourself with items that help you feel calm and positive.

• Create bonds with your neighborhood and community: Get to know the people living around you, join or start neighborshelping-neighbors groups, and support local businesses to challenge gentrification.

 • Connect with nature: Hike in a forest, sit in a city park, bring a plant inside, or keep the shades open to absorb natural light.

If you’re taking steps to improve your surroundings but are still struggling with your mental health, you may be experiencing signs of a mental health condition. Take a free, private screening at mhascreening.org to help you figure out what is going on and determine the next steps. The world around us can be both positive and negative – bringing joy and sadness, hope and anxiety. Learn more with Mental Health America’s 2023 Mental Health Month toolkit, which provides free, practical resources, such as how an individual’s environment impacts their mental health, suggestions for making changes to improve and maintain mental well-being, and how to seek help for mental health challenges. Go to mhanational.org/may to learn more.

#BlackMamasMatter - Celebrating Black Maternal Health Week 2023

Happy Black Maternal Health Week!

Never in a million years, did I think that we would still have to think about what it means to be black in America - yet alone a black woman. It’s scary. I’m glad I’ve made the decision that my childbearing days are over but my heart goes out to the women that have yet to explore the journey of motherhood.

Black women are like everyone else, we want to enjoy all the joys that come with pregnancy but when the fear of making it out is daunting. Will my doctor believe me when I say that something is wrong? Most pregnancy related deaths are preventable, so why does this keep happening? 

As I take a look back on my birthing experiences, I was only uncertain with my last child. Pregnancy was nothing new to me. I knew how my body responded and I was pretty in tune with myself. While in the third trimester with my son, I started experiencing extreme bouts of pain and discomfort. It was quickly waved off as the “end of pregnancy.” I spoke with my doctor about needing to go out for maternity leave early because my body couldn’t handle what was to come. I was told that as a woman we fought for equal rights as women so I needed to continue to work until the baby came; if I wanted to go out of work it would be up to me to use personal leave. Needless to say, I was shocked. Considering my history with complex pregnancies, I just knew this wasn’t going to be a big deal. As the weeks went on my blood pressure continued to skyrocket, but no one seemed concerned until I was 37 weeks when it was well into the stroke level. 

I was rushed into an emergency c-section, 2 weeks early after my doctor reviewed my chart and realized that my blood pressure had consistently been evaluated over the last few weeks. I was diagnosed with “late term preeclampsia.” During my stay at the hospital I felt extremely anxious, I wanted to be home. I didn’t feel comfortable. I experienced several strange encounters with staff and doctors that I felt I would be better off at home. After being home for less than 48 hours, I experienced the worst pain of my life. I was worried that my incision had become infected. My stomach, vagina, and inner thighs had become swollen, hot, and red. I went to the emergency room to sit for 3 hours only for them to tell me that they couldn’t help me and I needed to see the surgeon that performed the c-section. I felt defeated. Hopeless. Like how could you turn me around when I’m telling you I’m in excruciating pain and you can visibly see it. Thankfully, it was only a staph infection but it could have been so much worse. I made it through this experience alive while many have not.

If you’ve been watching the news lately, then you’ve heard that latest report from the CDC that the maternal mortality rate is at an all time high, especially for black women. In 2020, the maternal mortality rate for Black women was 3 times the rate for White women in the United States. Multiple factors contribute to these disparities, such as lower quality healthcare, structural racism, and implicit bias from healthcare providers, and underlying chronic conditions. (Source: CDC) 

I never wanted to think that the color of my skin could have been a reason for me being treated the way I was. The more stories I hear, the more I realize that it was a real possibility. The Black Mamas Alliance is doing the work to amplify these stories and create change. The #BMHW23 theme is “Our Bodies Belong to Us: Restoring Black Autonomy and Joy,” which speaks to our strength, power and resilience, and our unassailable right to live freely, safely, and joyfully. The events and programming being planned throughout #BMHW23 will fully embody this theme and offer opportunities to engage in activities and conversations that honor the values and traditions of the reproductive and birth justice movements.

Join me in supporting the Black Mamas Matter Alliance by helping them reach their #BMHW23 fundraising goal of $50,000 at www.blackmamasmatter.org/donate Your investment helps BMMA to share the challenges impacting Black birthing people, celebrate innovation of Black-led models of holistic maternal and reproductive health care, as well as amplify the voices of Black Mamas to shift the narrative to center our joy, activism, and creativity.

While things won’t change overnight, the more that we discuss it I’m hopeful that we will see a difference. No mother should have to fear surviving pregnancy. My mother has always told me that the closest you’ll ever be to death is giving birth. That statement has never been more relevant than it is today.

#BlackMamas are magical, we need them around. I don’t know what I would do without my own mother and the other mothers in my life that have provided me guidance and support throughout this journey of motherhood. 

Black Mamas Matter Shirts designed by 37:23 Apparel. Use code Natalie until April 30, 2023 to receive a discount.

Aging in Life and Love

I can’t believe March is over; where did the time go? It feels like life has been coming at me hard and fast. It feels like something else happens once I have a moment to catch my breath. Nevertheless, I’m rolling with the punches. March is always one of the happiest times of the year for me, but this year felt different. I felt an extreme heaviness over me. Most days, I felt like I was suffocating. Then it hit me; I’m probably grieving. 

I lost my auntie, aka my bestie, in 2020. I didn’t have time to process her death. I took on a significant role in planning her services. I became the strong one - had to be. There was no time for me to sulk. I got my first taste of real adulthood and what happens after you pass away. It was a learning process, but it made me realize that I needed to reevaluate a few things in my life.

 Now, I’m 32, another year older. I’m not sure what aging is supposed to feel like. I remember wanting to be “grown” so badly; now, I only wish to take time a little slower. I’m in my reflection era. I want things to come easy. I want to become the best version of myself. I desire to walk in my purpose. I can see the vision, but it isn’t evident. I’m choosing not to beat myself up about it. I’ve accomplished so much, and it’s okay to celebrate that, even if I haven’t met the goal I set.

Here are a few of my wins from the last year:

1. I bought a new car - I can’t wait to share more about it. I’m in love, and I worked my butt off to make sure I could get it.

2. I worked with one of my dream brands, Coca-Cola, for a long-term partnership.

3. I invested in leveling up my business. Even when times felt scary, I believed in myself.

Sometimes, I have to question my sanity. Like why did I get married 6 days AFTER my birthday? I have no idea because we all know March is all about me, and now I gotta share it with my husband, lol. What can I say? 

Hello, year 2; it’s been a wild ride. The last year has caused us to figure out what love looks like for us. Between work, side hustles, and kids pouring into each other didn’t happen. We constantly found ourselves at odds and arguing over silly things. We realized that we needed quality time with each other - just us. We’ve only been on two dates this year, but life has thrown us so many curve balls within the last 3 months - a pivot was necessary. 

However, we did explore a new city, and I can’t wait to tell you all about it. If you caught my Instagram post, then you know where we went. Stay tuned!

As always, you know I have to do my honorary birthday photo shoot, and I did it myself with a bit of help from my sidekick.

I’m claiming a great year of learning and love!

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