Queen, Watch Your Mouth

Real Queens fix each other's crowns WITHOUT letting anyone know it was titled.

How many times have you heard or participated in gossip? Whether intentionally or not I know we all have. It wasn't until I realized that what you say about someone can hurt them and leave scars for years! Luckily, I learned this early on. It wasn't an easy lesson but so worth it! 

It's so easy to get caught up in talking about people when we don't know the full story. A group of friends, causally scrolling through social media and it can catch you off guard "Oh girl, did you see Tasha just had another baby," "Yeah girl, I wonder who the daddy is." That can lead to a whole lotta speculation when you don't really know Tasha's situation. 

I don't have many female friends...I had my crew back in the day but we all grew apart and that happens. Life happens. Due to the twist and turns that my life has taken it's been hard for me to develop strong adult relationships. I've been extremely guarded. I meet a group of women that I thought were amazing and turned out to be a COMPLETE MESS! Something I did not want to be associated with.  

 I have been a mom since I was 17 so I didn't have the freedom to do as I pleased - neither did I have the means. My focus was taking care of my daughter and trying put myself through school.

Now that I'm older, I desire these types of relationships. I want relationships with other women that don't pose a threat to me. I want people that truly understand that we can all WIN! We're all beautiful in our own way and there is no need for the back stabbing.

Check out this oldie but goodie...did you watch Red Table Talk? If not, hop on over to Facebook and see what all the buzz was about. 

SOMETIMES, as women once we've done something we don't know how to come back from it. Especially in friendships. We miss those friends but we don't know how to say sorry and truly admit our wrong doings. Not only that there have been times when it's not our fault and we hold grudges not even know why we're mad.

Have you had conflicts with friends that you wish you would have resolved? 

Learning to Love After a Heartbreak

“Closure is not a moment between two people. It’s demanding yourself to stop reliving your history & let go of the “what ifs’”. It’s embracing that every ounce of pain you experienced was necessary for your growth, peace, and joy. It is a reconciliation with one’s self.”

— Sarah Jakes-Roberts

Let's be real for a moment...allow yourself to think clearly and be free of judgment. I have had this conversation several times in the last few months and I've read quite a few articles. So I have a good feeling that this is still relevant. It has also taken me MONTHS to get the courage to finish this piece. I have come to realize that it was because I wasn't there yet.

Wow - can't believe I just admitted that but my goal is to be as real as possible with you all!

Before you can even consider loving again you have to deal with your past. When you've experienced love and real love at that it's hard to keep going. For a moment your life stops. It feels like a piece of you is missing...your best friend is gone. This is insanely difficult if you didn't want the breakup. The worst thing you can do is try to force someone to stay - if they stay and they don't want to they'll be miserable and it won't work. 

Understand that healing takes time and no one is allowed to tell you how much time you need. Only you know when you're done. Cry if you need to. Cry for hours, days, weeks if you have to. Let it out! Keeping that pain bottled inside only hurts you. I'm not suggesting you wallow in your pain for months on end but give yourself time to breathe. 

I remember being told that I shouldn't be sad that I lost the person I loved. I should just get over it and move on with my life. I was told that crying wouldn't change a thing. Well, that was a LIE. I listened to that person and the aftermath wasn't pleasant. I learned to believe that I was okay. I learned to bury those feelings. I didn't get a chance to grieve the life I once had. I didn't know I needed it. I built a wall so high that no one could break it down. My wall of protection was solid. I tried to date but it didn't work. Whatever you do, don't fall victim to the notion that you should be with someone else in order to get over the person that you miss. For me, that didn't work and it doesn't work. All you're doing is masking the real problem. You aren't ready and it's okay not to be ready.

Once you've done your work to heal it is possible to love again. It won't be easy. You're going to have issues trusting again but here's the thing about love...when you start to fall you'll fall. Then you'll catch yourself. You'll worry about everything. You're going to be afraid and you have every right to but remember one important thing...that person isn't the person that hurt you. I'm not saying give every Billy, Bob, and Joe a chance but don't close out the possibility. 

Love is beautiful, it's pure and when you have it - it's magical. Your time will come but you have to be ready! 

Are you REALLY happy?

Happy - adjective: Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

Many people grow up not knowing who they are or what they want to be. Over time, our wants, desires, and needs change. When I was 6, I wanted to be a lawyer and when middle school came around and I was informed that becoming a lawyer involved Social Studies I quickly changed my mind.

In high school, I was torn between being a hair stylist/makeup artist and psychologist. Totally different, yet similar. I wanted to make people feel good.

If I can be real with ya’ll for a moment…my true passion was wanting to be a housewife! Yep, you got that right! Now there is a difference and people often get confused when I say that. I didn’t want to be a stay at home mom, I wanted to be a housewife. I love the idea of being home – cooking, cleaning, and working on my side hustle but also having the opportunity to get my kids from school and participate in as many school activities of my choosing. As we know, this isn’t happening YET! I’m believing in the power of the yet because one day I will be able to do this.

My life has taken on several different paths but all of them lead to one thing being my own boss! For now, I work in an office and I love it. I have freedom and flexibility not to mention the pay is great. It’s Monday – Friday and I’m off in time to spend time with my children.

I say all of that to say, where are you? Are you doing things that make you happy? Are you fulfilled in your job or are you working for a paycheck? We’ve all been there – paycheck = bills paid! I like to be believe that there is always more that we could be doing. We can take ourselves to the next level. I have set a few goals for myself and I’m determined to achieve them.

My first is growing my online presence. I love creating, I may not be the best but there is so much to learn and we all have to start somewhere.

Second, I would like to get involved with some advocacy work. I want to reach teens before they become teen parents! It’s hard, been there, done that and have the kids to prove it.

I’m currently working behind the scenes to make some of that happen so fingers crossed, you’ll see this face one day and remember you knew me, lol.

What steps are you taking to achieve your goals? Do you have any? The current place we’re in is ONLY temporary - if you believe!

My Fall Bucket List

With only 19 weeks or less to go in my pregnancy, I’m ready to have some fun and the pass the time. My energy is up and I’m doing well. Below are the top 10 things I want to do this Fall!

1.       Pumpkin Patch

Like seriously, does that not scream FALL to you!

2.       Decorate

I love fall colors, the oranges, reds, and yellows make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I love the fall candles as well and Bath and Body Works already has theirs out!!! I also love shopping Target and Home Goods! 

3.       Hayride

I haven’t been on a hayride in a while but I want to take the girls. We’ve never done one together. Totally, thinking about making this a tradition!

4.       Halloween Costumes

I’m not big on the holiday itself and my kids don’t go from door to door but I love seeing people get dressed up. This year I’m totally participating!

5.       Shopping

Now is the time when I save! Christmas is just around the corner and we have a rather large family so catching deals and storing cash is always a good idea.

6.       Bonfire – S’mores

I’m not really an outdoorsy kind of girl but when it’s cool I like to sit around the fire and make S’mores with my kids. It’s something they’ll always remember.

7.       State Fair

We’ve skipped the fair for the last few years because I believe it’s a complete waste of money but this is the last year it will just be the girls and I so I think we need to make a special trip!

8.       Fall Photos

I love photography and a lot of photographers do Fall Mini Sessions so this is the best time to snag a deal and capture your growing family. I have one coming up soon!

9.       Corn Maze

I have NEVER been to a corn maze and I’m a country girl. I know this will be so fun so it’s on my to-do list!

10.   Thanksgiving

I’m already thinking about the ham, turkey, collard greens and macaroni and cheese that will be prepared! The smell of Thanksgiving makes me happy plus it means we’re one step closer to Christmas!